Middle of the Road

I am the quintessential non-activist. Why? Because it seems completely obvious to me that neither the republicans nor the democrats are infallible, and that neither is always right. Indeed, it is even possible that as to certain questions, neither is right (or wrong). I can see a person's logic in registering for one party or the other, as one party's platform might be more in alignment with that person's worldview than another party's, and registering also conveys the right to vote in a primary. Somehow, though, the norm seems to be to select one or the other major party, and then agree with all it advocates and bash the other major party's every move. I might even be persuaded to understand that behavior, if I thought that it was in pursuit of vindicating the preferred of two competing world views, imperfect though even the preferred view may be. Yet it is my firm belief, unsupported by a single iota of empirical proof and yet unshakeable, that most of the people playing this game are not engaged in such a utilitarian pursuit of the lesser of two evils, greater of two goods, or what have you. Instead, I posit, most gung-ho fill-in-the-blanks, and I mean of both major parties, actually believe every single point their party pushes -- and not, as simply must be the case, that either the republicans are right more often than the democrats (but not always), or the democrats are right more often than the republicans (but not always). It is this view of mine that pretty much assures I will never be a politician, or the recipient of one's spoils. Could it be that I am in the majority in my view, and that this might explain why most people do not foray into political activism? Might there be a silent "middle of the road" party, consisting of a vast majority who are so reasonable and flexible that, as a by-product of those venerable qualities, they remain unrepresented? Sign me up.

Office Chivalry Isn't Dead, Too?

I just had one of those office incidents where you confront an awkward bump in the road of your daily routine and there is no way to come out of it right, so you dig a deeper hole and jump into it.

It started when I walked down a hall that ends in an open doorway, and two female colleagues were a few steps behind me. I arrived at the doorway first, but as I approached the doorway, some custodial staff carrying heavy items arrived on their way in just as I was about to walk out. Their arms being laden and mine empty, I stepped aside and let them enter. When they passed, I started to exit, and the two women who were behind me sort of tried to come around me and go through first. They were not about to barrel over me and were somewhat hesitant in what I perceived to be their pushiness. I also did a bit of a double-take, kind of not believing that they would be doing that, and half-willing to give in if they were resolute -- but they weren't, so I just went through ahead of them. Immediately, one of them declared loudly to the other, "How do you spell chivalry? Is it C-H-I-V-A-L-R-Y, or was that D-E-A-D?"

Now I should have left it at that. I knew that I was there first, and that it was my turn to walk through the door. I also knew that neither of these two were known as the bright smily faces of the office. But I also have a reputation for being a nice, polite guy, and I had no personal beef with these women. And now they were willing to publicly declare that I am rude. So the hole: I jotted off and sent the dreaded email one writes while still under the influence of the catalytic event, without waiting 24 hours to cool off. "Chivalry," read the subject line, "applies only when women are not equal," continued the message. Signed, ";o)" -- to make sure levity prevails.

Oh, no.

Within one minute, both were in my office giving me a lecture on common courtesy. Now, these aren't people who, like me, have a reputation for being polite. When I am wronged in a way that it would serve no purpose to redress, I don't seek out the wrongdoer for battle. The event might affect my opinion of the person for a while, perhaps in a permanent way if the offending conduct is frequent, but more likely I will just forget about it.

First I listened to the spiel, which included an attack on feminism for making people think that door-holding and the like demeans equality, and an attack on younger people's attitudes (I'm 40, they are 50-60). Then I politely asked what the unchivalrous conduct had been. Both said that I had barged through the doorway ahead of them! So, I point-blank said, "But I was there first, and I had stepped aside to let people carrying heavy things through the door first, and then, since I had been there first, I started to go -- and it didn't occur to me that you were expecting me to give up my place to let you pass first from behind me."

Well, needless to say, the hole was already dug. They had put me into the pigeonhole of ungracious younger man with a bad attitude, and now I had the gall to defend myself. And by association, perhaps, the younger (or at least, less middle-aged) generation. They weren't looking for an explanation, and certainly not one that might turn the situation into something less than proof of my misdeed.

They simply left, appearing disgusted that I did not see their plight.

Now it's almost time to go pick up my son from day care. One of the things I teach him is that he should share and take turns, but also that he should not let other people take his turn away from him. Am I setting him up to be rude?

Hello (Again) Cyberspace!

Welcome to my first blog entry on my first blog. It may be my last as well, since I have no idea where I would find the time to do such a thing on a regular basis. I don't have very high aspirations, anyway. My intent is to keep a running discussion of things I've "tasted" -- in the most general sense of the word. So, my thoughts about a wine I enjoyed may be followed by a list of pet peeves about rude drivers, a review of a movie, or comments on some random topic that interests me. The end result should be something along the lines of a diary, but I'm not so deep or so foolish that I'd include anything that will interest you for shock value. No, this blog is for me, and if anyone happens upon it and finds he or she has similar taste, then feel free to try the wines I've liked. I know I said this isn't just about wine, but that is the name of the blog, and it's gonna come up. I drink some every day, after all.